Mostly a blue bike...

9/27/12

Thanks....

quiet rumblings of children waking up.  sunshine speckled on the wall of the living room.  coffee in my belly.  Yum.

I was given a blue bike.  Or rather BICYCLE, the work bike seems to undervalue this machine.  My mother in law gave me this bicycle a few years ago.  Maybe 6?  It's been in the back of my mind but it's needed fixing up..  a little tune up.  I don't know much about bicycles, though I'm learning.

My brother Eric has all the things you need to tune up bikes...  He's rather an enthusiast.  He gave me a tune up for Christmas..  and delivered it to my house this July.  I love this bicycle!  I just feel peaceful as I ride it.  It's got a rythmic clink to it that's calming as you push the pedals around.  It's got just enough rust on it to be quaint.  You have to pedal backwards to stop.  Hooked handle bars let you sit up straight.

I am thankful for rides on this bicycle because they often are taken with eyes open to thank for more things.  I come home ready to thank for lots.

Violated

Gone.

 It's gone.

Ryan's bike and our kids bike trailer.

Then the thoughts come fast and hard.  I can't bike anywhere with them.  It's my fault.  I left it out.  On Move-in Weekend.  Oh dumb.  Who did it?  Our neighbors?  Oh, I would just love not to live next to college students.  How do I love someone who is of the same position as the bum who took my things from my back yard?  Oh I do NOT love being a college minister right now.  I feel violated.

"Ryan.....? Our bike and trailer are gone"  CRY.

And he opens his eyes and looks and does not melt down and notices they are stashed in our neighbors bushes.

oh.

OK.  guess I have an attitude problem.  Someone did steal a beach towel out of the trailer though.

Wow, all sorts of accusatory thoughts and anger just bubbled up!  I didn't think "Thank You, God" for that.  How do I do that?  I'm not sure I'm there but I hope to trust to get there, God.

Remembering

I love this little girls penchant for sand...  she wallows.  She has no reservations.  She rolls, and eats.  A Lot.  Her joy in sand gives me joy.  (And I've gotten pretty efficient and cleaning her off as we leave the beach...)

Lots of people do not like sand.  Some people avoid sand.  Alana LOVES sand.  She accepts it as a gift even though she has to take a bath.  Every Time.  In fact the bath is a gift as well!  I just know that I act like so much of my life is like sand...  sticky, gets everywhere, is hard to brush off...  a curse.  Something else to do.  Oh, it's not.  It's something to wallow in and give thanks.  Oh, I get it.  Thanks little girl...  for teaching your mama something.

Oh, an Big Sister doesn't mind it too much either...

Thankful 8/31/12

Not sick
Bicycling around in warm sunshine together
Playing in the fountain
Holding wet toddler who won't play
Snacks make happy kids
Emotions show me they are God made too.

Thankful 8/30/2012

Swimming in a cool river on a sweaty hot day
Little girls bounce and do not break
Baking oatmeal cookies
Water fountain scatters drops in the wind
Reading time in The afternoon.

Start again.

I used to do this...  but I find I should do this.  Maybe its an electronic journal.  Its a way for me to think and combine photos with thinking...  so here we go again.  My window to the world is beginning online again.

Grace looks like scattered childrens books on my floor today.  in the middle of them all is one from the library.  "Portage County Public Library" stamped on its pages so it's only visible while the book is closed...  Open them and the words split in half, quarters, so on until they reassemble themselves on the other side.  I'm thankful for two girls who like books so much they scatter them on my floor.  I'm thankful that the library still exists.  The people who came up with libraries understood grace, at least a little...  undeserving gifts....  we don't deserve a chance at a new book if we can't buy it, right?  Wrong. You can.  At a library.

Children's books.

Yesterday grace looked like clean laundry on a line and the sun dancing in the sprinkler's arcs of water while girls ran around it, actually avoiding water until I ran through with all my clothes on.  "Mom, you should get your swimsuit on if you're going to jump through." "Actually Daddy, mama can go in with her clothes on if she wants to."  Grace.  Joy.  August.  Thanks for the Gifts, Abba.